Whether they admit it or not, everybody struggles with this question albeit with differing levels of severity. I wasted most of my early 20′s as what I call a high functioning agoraphobic. I was definitely agoraphobic, but I was motivated enough by money to leave the house and do my job. I was basically a husk, who would play a character that didn’t care so much about peoples opinions, then run home to drink away the days woes, pretty grim, right? You don’t have to tell me, I lived it!
I am very happy to say that those days are behind me, and I will never allow myself to go to that dark place again.
How did I get over my severe fear of failure and what others thought? I went out and failed as hard as I could! When I was a child I would love to watch stand-up comics, I would dream of being a famous comic, but I’ve always been too shy to dare try. So I decided I was going to give it a shot, because if I kept up with my agoraphobic ways I’d probably end up going completely insane, anyway… It is with great pleasure that I tell you that I failed. I got stage time, bombed, did it again, again, and probably a few times after that. I got a few laughs, but for the most part I was making a fool of myself, but you know what? I’m still here and very much stronger from the experience.
The only opinion that should really matter is your own. Don’t get me wrong, there are some people that I highly respect and I hold their views very high, but I won’t let their opinion mess with my self esteem. Constructive criticism is important, if the person actual has your best interest in mind, and they’re not just putting you down to make themselves feel better about their wasted lives (cut these people loose, you don’t need them in your life).
Once you know how to truly learn from and embrace failure, magic things will happen in your life. You get a lot stronger from failing than winning, it may not be as much fun, but ask any professional fighter what fights they get the most out of- the answer will more than likely be the ones they lose.
Are YOU happy with what you’re putting out there? If the answer is yes, screw everyone else, what do they know? What’s the worst that could happen? A little embarrassment never hurt anyone, unless they let it…
To your next spectacular failure!
Adam J Wagner